Self Affirmation or Selfishness?

Wake up each day and build your self-esteem. It doesn't make you selfish. It’s actually called self-love.

It’s been a minute. I know !!! It has only been a week.  I know erh!!! My fingers were itching to touch the keyboard. To satisfy myself and bring peace to my soul, I decided to write before the 4-days newsletter work window. 

• Though a bad work habit, I chose to do this because my thoughts come and go. I’d rather risk going against myself than forget my thoughts and words. At least we are allowed to journal from wherever we are, right? So, consider this as me journalling from a boring meeting. (Just me sharing too much than I should, yeah!!)

I was trying so hard to get myself to sleep the other night. I tried the sleep meditation podcast I found certain days ago. But after an hour of scheming through a plethora of podcasts, I couldn’t find what’d work for me. Let’s talk about my Insomnia later, yeah? ✨😴

In the quest to find a boring activity to put me to sleep, I chanced on a colourful piece of hard paper. Sticking out of my travel bag was my little yellow journal📒🖊 from April. How it managed to get into my travel bag, I can’t tell! But I think I might have picked it as an extra book for note-keeping. 

Amazingly, after months of ignoring her, here I was, finally bringing myself to flip through those pages. Well, I’m taking a stroll down memory lane, take a ride with me or bail out and let me deal with my emotions alone!! You’re not bailing out on me, right? 

Flipping through these pages brought back memories from the early parts of the year. On the 27th of April, 2022, it was time for some affirmations for my well-being (Peace and Sanity). It’s funny how I was affirming myself but still feeling selfish. 

The page read;

“It’s happening again and seriously I don’t know what to do. Who controls our emotions, thoughts and fears? Can whoever it is lend me his listening ear for a minute? If he’s too busy, can he allow me to see/feel how many of us are calling out to him asking for help with emotional deficiencies? 

I’d appreciate it if he heeds my call first. That’d be selfish of me, right? Wait!! Isn’t that what everyone preaches? “CHOOSE YOU ALWAYS”. They kinda lied about that because once you start they call you “SELFISH”  and pass comments like “You don’t care anymore ”. 

Not that I do not care, I just don’t want to put myself in harm's way. I want to be ‘Selfish’. I want to choose myself. I need my energy and I want to revive it back. I need to feel like I burst the confusion bubble. I need to breathe and enjoy doing it. Enough of the suppressed thoughts and suffocating days. I choose me tonight or I get stuck” 

That was quite a trip🤕. Looking back to April, I wasn’t in the best of moods. I cannot recall what exactly it was, but I often felt selfish about certain decisions I made. I lost my self-confidence. I guess I was going through it then. Becauseeee… That was a long read of emotions.🙃

I depended so much on people for my happiness. It was in that same month I started learning to accept myself. My lower teeth gaps have always been wide. Wide enough to compliment my beauty.  But it took me about three years to learn that.  

Had I found affirmations to live by daily from the start of the year, I wouldn’t consider any decision as selfish, I would have learned to love myself and forever choose myself. 

Wake Up each day and affirm these, it’s not selfishness. It’s called Self-love🥰;

---

• I am enough.

• I believe in my dreams, myself, and all that I am.

• I love myself for who I am.

• I create my happiness.

• My life is filled with an abundance of goodness.

• My challenges are opportunities.

• I am beautiful just the way I am.

  ---

You can think of these as a menu or guide that can help set your day’s tone and assist you in moving positively. If you have also got other affirmations that have proven effective, kindly reply in the comments section.

I hope you find mine useful. So till the next read right?

Be kind. Stay safe and Spread love always!!

PS: Back to my Insomnia. Kindly suggest possible ways you think can help me get enough rest. I’m battling with sleep. Help a sister out.

Na-Bi🦋🖤